Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
