i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
