didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
