he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
