I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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