You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
