Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
