I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
