If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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