Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
