Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
