as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
