You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
