did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
