I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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