You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
