So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
