90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
