All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
