Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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