He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
