I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
