In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
