i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
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