Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
COCAINE IS GR8
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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