seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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