we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
