We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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