dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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