i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
