She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
