I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
