dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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