he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
