six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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