when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
