At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
