Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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