just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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