wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
