marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
