Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
