big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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