I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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