TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
