i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
