he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No I am not eating basil off your cock
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
