I want to walk on stilts...naked
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
