At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
