Say something about gay babies.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
