Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
