She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
