Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
